


I Am Caged, And You Are Free

by pb_and_j_slaps



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adorable Hulk (Marvel), Birds, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Crying, Freedom, Headspace, Hulk Needs a Hug, Hulk Talks (Marvel), Isolation, Men Crying, OOC Hulk, POV Hulk (Marvel), Protective Hulk (Marvel), Smart Hulk (Marvel), Snow and Ice, Wishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 20:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30094812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pb_and_j_slaps/pseuds/pb_and_j_slaps
Summary: “To say the Hulk was angry was like telling someone a bird could fly. It was something you didn’t need context for, a simple concept that didn’t need any more explanation. Not unless you were generally interested in why a bird could fly. Or why the Hulk was always angry.Both ideas are a little difficult to understand at first, but they could be explained by the right person if you were really interested in the ‘why’ factor.”A (probably OOC) look at the Hulk as he yearns for things that he could never truly have.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Hulk, Hulk & Natasha Romanov, Hulk & Tony Stark
Kudos: 7





	I Am Caged, And You Are Free

To say the Hulk was angry was like telling someone a bird could fly. It was something you didn’t need context for, a simple concept that didn’t need any more explanation. Not unless you were generally interested in why a bird could fly. Or why the Hulk was always angry.

Both ideas are a little difficult to understand at first, but they could be explained by the right person if you were really interested in the ‘why’ factor.

Hulk’s friends (if you could even call them that, they seemed more like coworkers at this point) did not care for why he was always angry. In fact, unless they wanted something from him, they liked to avoid him at all times. 

Which was fine, of course, he was used to this. From the moment he was created inside the mind of Bruce Banner to becoming a living being in New-Mexico, all he ever knew was hatred.

But this was supposed to be different, there was only a microscopic amount of people that would tolerate the Hulk before he was captured by the military. The Avengers were the only consistent thing in his life at this point. 

They had cared for Bruce, and took him in as a part of their little family. It was something that neither of them were used to in a long, long time. It almost seemed too good to be true. He never felt this much light inside Bruce since he finally got away from their father.

It was always harder for Bruce and Hulk to have the same friends, especially when half the time your memories of them belong to someone else. Hulk treasures all of his memories with the Avengers. 

But they did not care for the Hulk like they did for Bruce. That was the one thing he could never understand. Hulk wanted to be included in their movie nights too, he wanted to fight with Thor for fun once in a while, he wanted to get to know Tony as more than the only man who liked Hulk for Hulk before he even saw him.

So why don’t they want to do the same things? 

Was it because the Hulk was too big for anything? Because one of his first instincts is to just smash the things that were bothering him? Because that’s the only thing he actually knew what to do for a long, long time. 

Perhaps it was because he was just a naturally loud person. Hulk couldn’t help it if he wanted to express his words loud and proud. There was no telling when the next time he could come back and speak, so he always needs to make sure that whatever he says really counts. Also, mumbling annoys him. Bruce does that often.

Or maybe it was because he looked so funny, it wasn’t Hulks fault that he looked so weird. The radiation made his skin so green, and the angrier he gets, the bigger he becomes. Hulk did wish he could look like everyone else, but that just isn’t possible. And he could accept that.

He hears the Captain call out to Bruce within their mind, telling him to suit up and prepare some extra clothing for the Hulk after their mission.

And as always, Bruce does not ask the Hulk for his opinion on any of this. Sometimes he himself won’t even tell the Captain how he doesn’t want to do the missions. So he has no choice but to wait within the mindscape and wait for Bruce to get angry enough to switch or do something dumb.

Hulk wonders if there was any way for him not to show up in battle, that if he just closed his own eyes and went to sleep, he wouldn’t wake up in a very dangerous mission and smash everything in sight. 

Oh well, he did share a brain with a scientist. Experimentation was in their nature.

____________________

Bruce was waiting quietly in the quinjet for Steve to give him the signal in the intercoms. 

Instead it was Natasha who gave the signal “Bruce! Get ready, things are starting to look pretty tense out here.” He placed the bag of extra clothing down on a seat, stepped outside, and closed his eyes. 

And waited.

And waited a little more...

And waited until Natasha called him again on the Quinjet “Bruce, now’s not the time to be tagging along. Either transform now or rummage around the ship and find a way.” 

Bruce resorted to violence as one of the last resorts when it involved transforming into the Hulk. But he thought about it for a moment, if the team really did need him, then there wasn’t any time to wait for the other guy to get upset. 

“How bad do you guys need him? I can’t…” He tried to find the right words, “I don’t think he’ll listen at the moment.” Tony spoke this time in the coms “We need him yesterday Bruce, otherwise we wouldn’t have called you. This is why you’re on the team.” 

He could hear Tony’s desperation. At this point he really didn’t have a choice, it was either that or he would have to think about his father. Death was a better option if he had to pick between the two. 

He opened the emergency safe within the jet and took out the gun and rag used for forced Hulk transformations. Adjusting his angle and wondering where to shoot the easiest area, he aimed for his mouth and pulled the trigger. 

He looked down at the rag, he had honestly gotten used to guns at this point. And that said a lot. The earliest memory he had of one was that one time where his dad took out his own pistol a little while after his mother died and threatened to shoot both of them through the head if he ever said anything about that dreadful day. 

Bruce put the rag in his mouth to avoid damaging his teeth and fought back from making a dark joke, not wanting that as his final thought before filling his shoulder with lead. 

Hulk had heard the familiar sound of a gun being shot and the familiar pain of the bullet that followed soon after. He always hated the gunshots, he disliked loud noises in general. Bruce must have been desperate to bring him out. 

He felt a little guilty that Bruce had to resort to shooting himself again in order to get the other guy’s attention. 

The green giant sighed as he began to transform, feeling every bone in the body painfully growing as he quickly ran onto the battlefield.

He heard Thor shout triumphantly as the Hulk looked around, quickly identified who was the bad guy, and began smashing them up. He didn’t put as much effort as he usually did, he just couldn’t. 

Steve noticed, though Hulk just supposed it was his urgency that made him more focused on the bigger issue “Hulk! We’re gonna need you to smash a little harder than that.” The green giant just sighed as quietly as he could and did what Steve told him. 

Maybe if he was lucky he would be allowed to stay out for a while, just a little longer at least.

Hulk saw how the bad guys trembled before him as he smashed their vehicles, he always hated the feeling that gave him. Knowing that people fear you, that they would always fear you, for things you never wanted to do. 

He felt like crying, but held it back as he realized earlier on in life that crying was for children. And he was no longer a child, not anymore. 

The fight continued until Tony found what the team was apparently looking for, Hulk always noticed how Tony, Steve and occasionally Natasha were usually the only people who saved the day. Everyone else was just fighting in the background. 

Hulk was never the person who saved the day, 3/10 chances were of the Avengers saving the day from something he probably did. And he never really meant to do those things, but it always added up whenever he tried to do something that wasn’t beating things up once in a while. 

Eventually he was called over to Natasha, who had Bruce’s clothing bag in hand and ready to change the Hulk back. So he did one of the only things he was good at, and ran.

He didn’t want to go back, not yet. Hulk wanted to do more than just smash around and watch as people only came to him when they needed something. When it actually came time to speak about it though, he couldn’t. 

That was a really big problem with Hulk. He could think of a million things to say per minute but when it was actually time to open his mouth, he couldn’t. Hulk always felt embarrassed of himself whenever he spoke up, he knew that people assumed he was dumb because of it but he honestly couldn’t translate between what his brain and mouth really said. 

He ran for quite some time in the snow, wondering where the woods would take him this time or how much time had really passed. Maybe the team was waiting for him by the plane and ready to scold him on running off. Maybe they were finally allowing him to do his own thing as he ran farther from the ship and farther into the world. 

At last, he finally stopped when he noticed the snow was beginning to fall. The man sat down in front of a tree and began to look at the view around him. 

The snow was beautiful really, all white and fluffy. He loved how each individual snowflake that fell was entirely different to one another. The melting sensation of the flakes in his hands made the Hulk feel less self conscious of his humongous hands. 

In the distance he could hear a bird chirping, he turned his head to the side to get a better look and saw the bird flying near his way. It was pretty blue, with red covering the bottom of his tummy, or chest? Hulk didn’t look at birds very often. 

He saw how the small creature flew in the air without a care in the world, unaware of how cruel it could really be sometimes. Hulk wished he was a bird, so he could finally become his own person and he too could go and fly around the world. To feel the wind in his face because he was hitting things or running, just being one with the sky could be enough for him. 

Now, maybe it was because he was staring a lot, but the bird had stopped for some reason in a tree across from him and was quite possibly making eye contact with him. He didn’t know what to do about that. 

Should he shoo it off? No, because then he would be alone with his thoughts, and that was a very dangerous concept according to Bruce. Would he be able to move away and continue walking? 

Before he thought of an answer, the bird was suddenly flying steadily towards him. Hulk panicked and stood still as the bird moved as fast as it could on its little legs now. Leaving tiny imprints as he was getting closer. 

The Hulk saw how the bird stopped walking forward and tilted its own head. Perhaps the bird was smart enough to notice that the Hulk was not normal, that they should probably fly back to wherever they were going and never return. Hulk would understand, he’d do it too. 

Instead, the small creature adjusted his head back to the original position and continued walking towards Hulk. 

The green giant hesitated before slowly scooping his hands out to collect the bird. He didn’t want to smash it or anything, but he just wanted to hold him in his hands and admire it. 

He felt water begin to pour in his eyes as the bird gladly walked into his giant hands and cuddled up in the palms. 

No one had ever allowed themselves to be trusted in the hands of the Hulk. Not even Betty. Yet here was something fragile and innocent, just cuddling into him and for once he didn’t know what to do. 

To know that there was hope for him, that maybe he would finally have a chance to interact with others like normal people. Make better memories with the team that didn’t consist of the awful violence or noise. 

And then he finally stopped zoning out, he could hear the Quinjet arriving in the far distance. The team would find him soon, and he would once again accept the fact that he had to leave and transform back into Bruce. 

He panicked as the bird was still resting in his palms, Hulk shifted the creature into just one hand and tried to get the bird to fly away on his finger. 

The small bird woke up and somehow managed to look confused as Hulk tried to move him away before getting the message and preparing for flight. 

And oh how Hulk wishes that he could go and fly with the bird, but no matter where he ran he knew that somehow, someone would find him again. He would never be free to roam the earth, not without so many problems in his way. 

So he sat in silence, fighting back tears he shouldn’t even be able to create as the bird slowly flew farther and farther away into the world. It was all he could do at that point as he could hear the plane coming down for a landing. 

He would always be connected to Bruce Banner, and although that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, he would always be used as some big strong monster. That’s all he would ever be. 

That was one of the many reasons why he and the bird were never the same, and would be nothing more than opposites. 

Because a bird is free, free to roam the earth and do as they please without causing a fuss and bothering everyone around them. They were things that would be treasured and admired by people for years to come. 

But the Hulk was caged, and would always be that way. Not unless someone decided to let him free too, and give him the pleasures of roaming the earth freely. 

He could hear the disappointing shouts of his teammates asking him to go away now, and the Hulk took one big sigh and stood up. Admiring the view and taking it all in one final moment before returning back to the headspace.

Alone. Just like he deserved. Hulk wonders if he thought hard enough that maybe his wish would come true. 

Maybe.


End file.
